The real last dispatch from Lima...

I wrote this waiting at the airport and forgot about it in my drafts folder so here it is...

Well I'm at the gate after a slightly rushed trip to the airport.  The thing is today was Secretarys Day (or Administrative Professionals Day if you live in the States) and on top of that I needed to talk with the guy who had me come down about my report (and he was recovering for most of the afternoon from a one day trip to a high altitude mine).  The original plan was that I would discuss the report in the early evening, attend the Secretarys Day bar run, and take a taxi to the airport.  This was fine until we realized that the Secretarys Day bar run was at a bar 15 min from the office by taxi and was scheduled for 15 min before my taxi was scheduled to pick me up at the office.  Long story short Secretarys Day was moved to a restobar (restaurant/bar) next door to the office where I had a drink with my team and all was well.  I caught my taxi and that's where the real fun began.  As he was driving me to the airport (none of which looked familiar from nearly 3 weeks earlier I realized I need to go to the bathroom…BAD.  Now I don't have the bladder of a 95 yr old grandparent, but this was a dire situation.  I had finished a bottle of water and 1.5 pisco sours at the bar.  I was seriously contemplating rolling down my window (to make enough noise) and going in the bottle.  I asked the driver how much further we were going to be…he said 10 min.  As soon as we got to the airport I corralled the equivalent of a Skycap so he could maneuver my stuff.  As he took me towards an entrance with a big line I told him in slightly urgent Spanish, "Necessito ir al bano, ahora."  Now I know your all might not speak Spanish, but you understand that.  All you need to see is bano and ahora and it makes sense.  Grammatically correct or not he got the picture.  He swiftly navigated my luggage further and got me to an entrance with minimal traffic.  Once inside he took the lead and got me to my desired destination…un bano.  Normally I would be hesitant leaving my bags with a stranger in a foreign country, but in this case I did the math…I have the laptop, passport, and wallet…the bags have clothes…and the wedding stuff…I'm not worried.  He said he would wait and I took his word.  When I came out he was still there and we proceeded to my check in counter.  At the check in counter we parted ways and I gave him the smaller of the two bills I had in local currency remaining…it was likely a big tip, but I didn't care for the service he rendered I would have paid far more.