Songs in the key of life

For some reason the other day the HyWy and I were at home and the name of a song that I really enjoyed in high school popped in my head.  In this day of YouTube it's a matter of key strokes before I could find the video of the song, which lead me to really think about the songs that I feel defined particular times of my life.  These are not necessarily my favorite songs, but the songs that I really enjoyed at that time in my life.  

Late elementary school/early junior high - Mary Mary (by Run DMC) - Run DMC was one of the first groups that I learned about and I have no idea who introduced me to them (or how I found out about them).  I'll never forget being in 5th or 6th grade and getting the album Tougher Than Leather.  I would play it repeatedly and this was one of the songs that stuck in my head.

Junior high - Raise Your Hands (by Bon Jovi) - I remember being in junior high and memorizing at least half of the songs (Raise Your Hands, Let it Rock, Livin' on a Prayer, You Give Love a Bad Name) on Slippery When Wet.  My parents would make fun of me running around singing these songs like I was Jon Bon Jovi.  My friend who was about 3 years older than me introduced me to them.  I still remember the lyrics and this album still rocks!

7th grade - Mysterious Ways (by U2) -  My first concert was the U2 ZooTV Outdoor Broadcast at the Oakland Coliseum.  I don't remember the setlist or anything, but just being speechless.  This song is my earliest U2 memory as they played this song and The Edge's future wife bellydanced on stage.  

8th grade - And Justice for All (by Metallica) - I was in 7th grade when Metallica's Black Album came out and that was when I first heard about them.  I remember listening in awe to the stories from my friend who saw them their double bill show with Guns 'n Roses.  However, my introduction into Metallica didn't come until 8th grade when I got the And Justice for All album from a classmate.  I bought it off of him and I listened to this song repeatedly.  I still remember being in awe of the drums during the chorus.

High school - Dazed and Confused (by Led Zepplin) - This was my first Led Zepplin album and to this day listening to the first few songs takes me back to high school.  I remember always begging my parents to take me to the Blockbuster Music store where you could listen to CDs in the store.  For me the gateway bands were Metallica and U2.  From there for some reason I started a backwards progression that has stayed with me for the rest of my life.  I always wanted to know who influenced the band that had my interest at that moment.  At the start of college I had tracked Led Zepplin's influence back to the post-War blues musicians such Muddy Waters, BB King, Freddie King, Albert King, etc.  

Senior year - The Freshman (by The Verve Pipe) - This was the song that kicked off this post.  This is one of two songs that take me right back to my senior year.  I hadn't heard this song in years until the other night and I was amazed that I still remembered the lyrics like yesterday.  I think it's interesting that despite getting deeper into classic rock at this point I was still plugged into the current crop of artists.  Another interesting thing about this song is proof that I have never paid attention to lyrics.  The HyWy listened to this for the first time and immediately knew what the song was about, but though I knew the lyrics by heard I had no idea.  Clearly I've always been one to listen to songs for the musical content and to me the lyrics are merely another 'instrument'.  

Senior year - Semi Charmed Life (by Third Eye Blind) - The second of two songs that remind me of my senior year.  I can still remember how 'cool' it felt to drive on a hot night in Houston with the windows down and this song blasting.  Funny thing about both of these songs is that they are both about very heavy topics and this one has a very upbeat melody.  

College - The Longest Time (by Billy Joel) - I was in a fraternity in college and part of our assignment as pledges was 'serenading' the sorority classes.  The experience was both miserable and mortifying.  However, I still remember going through the practices and this was the song.  

College - Midnight Rider (by the Allman Brothers Band) - This was my first introduction to the Allman Brothers Band, whom I would consider one of my favorite bands.  I had the opportunity to volunteer as an usher at an Allman Brothers concert in Atlanta while I was in college and I just didn't know enough about the band at that point.  The only thing I remember is being disappointed that they didn't play this song.  Hearing this song I can remember hot Atlanta nights, cold beers, and sitting on the porch just listening to music.  

2nd and 3rd year of College - Wash It Away (by Black Lab) - This was the last 'new'/indie/rising band that I remember enjoying.  Since then I have gotten more into genre specific (blues rock) bands, but I have never really gotten into indie music again.  My friend turned me onto this group when they were playing a small club in Atlanta.  We were working together at our co-op job and both of us enjoyed music.  This song reminds me of hanging out with her, going to the Vortex for burgers, and working while my friends were in school.  I still have this album and love every song on it.  

Fall 2003 (last Fall in Atlanta) - Yeah! (by Usher) - Some of the best times I had in Atlanta came right before I moved away when I was unemployed.  My friends (the HyWy too) and I would go to one club every Saturday night.  We had guest passes that would get us in for free and we would buy a few drinks there.  Sometimes the nights got expensive, but it was fun.  This was the song that ruled the airwaves then and I was making unsuccessful attempts at flirting with the HyWy.  An odd choices, but this is one of our 'songs'.  

2003 - On the Turning Away (by Pink Floyd) - I was well aware of Pink Floyd by this point in my life, but I don't know if I knew this song very well.  This was the first song, which I consciously understood the lyrics to.  I think it was because I was at a point in my life where the strongly connected and resonated with me.  I remember singing this acapella in front of some friends (who are probably reading this) and being terrified.  

2006 Return to the Bay - Tell Me When To Go (by E-40) - Oddly enough after I returned to the Bay I started getting into hip hop a lot more than when I was in Atlanta.  About a year and half after I returned the hyphy movement took off and one of the anthems from that was this song.  You couldn't drive through Oakland without hearing this song.  

There are so many songs and artists that aren't represented here.  Perhaps there will be a Part 2 for this post.  I should make a mix CD with all of these songs on it.  

A tribute

Sitting in a meeting today I received a call from the HyWy, which I decided to take as I was curious what she might be calling about. With sadness in her voice she said that she was walking from our apartment to work and noticed that workers were cutting down a big tree on a hill down the street from our apartment. As soon as she said 'the tree' I knew which one she was talking about. The picture below from Google StreetView shows the tree in question.
As you can see there was ample shade provided and the nice branches, which were not very high off the ground that were perfect to climb up on. Both the HyWy and I would regularly visit the tree together or alone to sit in it's shade and in it's branches. The branches provided a nice spot to look at the lake and feel secluded when I had a long day or a lot on my mind. For me the tree was a refuge. Just this past weekend I sought refuge and the only reason I didn't go to the tree was because there was already someone there. I look back with sadness on what was my last interaction with the tree and today without any warning it was taken from us. The interesting thing is that I wouldn't characterize myself or the HyWy as ones who would typically be moved by this. However, there was something about this tree and the HyWy put it best when she said it reminded her of her childhood. With it's removal we ourselves become more removed from the innocence of our youth.

A Smile Card experience

Eight years ago I met with a group of friends and one of the results of that meeting was the concept of Smile Cards.  Since then the project has blown up far more than any of us would have imagined.  However, the one thing that I have never experienced is a "random" Smile Card experience where I saw a stranger with one of these cards.  The night of the Ikea furniture assembly from the previous post the HyWy and I went to dinner at a neighborhood pizza joint, which we had never been to.  We sat down in exhaustion and just wanted to eat our food.  While waiting for our order the next customer came in and sat down by himself with a book across the aisle from us.  I was standing at the counter waiting to get a refill when the HyWy got my attention and gestured towards this customer.  Immediately my attention was drawn to his bookmark, a Smile Card.  I cannot describe the feeling I felt then.  It was a blur of emotions and flashbacks through eight years of meetings, design iterations, experiments in kindness, tags, stories, and connections.  I wanted to ask the gentleman how he came across the Smile Card, to connect with him, and tell him my story but then I thought the beauty of the moment didn't need to be clouded with all of that.  The serendipity of the moment was the perfect complement to the serendipitous feeling I get when tagging someone with a Smile Card.  

The Ikea Relationship Test

On Saturday the HyWy and I went to Ikea and bought a rather large wardrobe to help us utilize our closet space better.  The wardrobe came in 3 boxes and the total weight was over 200lbs.  Once we got it home we spent 4-5 hours putting it together, which reminded me of several past experiences putting together Ikea furniture for relatives.  Most often what has happened is that I have visited someone that had bought some Ikea furniture and the wife didn't want to be involved in the building process.  In some cases the wife had tried and out of frustration differed and other times she just knew better.  Seeing as this was our second Ikea experience, but I don't recall if I was part of the first build I was curious to see how we fared in the Ikea Relationship Test. 

The Ikea Relationship Test puts two or more people in what is arguably one of the most frustrating experiences, that doesn't involve life and death decisions, and how they respond in that situation is very telling of their relationship.  The Ikea instructions, in case you have never had this experience, have no text (other than numbers) and require you to notice any little detail regarding alignment of parts.  Before starting to work on the wardrobe the first thing we did was unpack everything and sort out all the screws, bolts, dowels, etc.  Then every step of the way we both conferred the instructions and asked the other for confirmation.  Finally when steps didn't require two people one of us would work on one thing and the other was in the other room working on something else.  In the end it was the quickest assembly of furniture (of that size) I have ever experienced.  The key to stressfree Ikea assembly (and good relationships)  is simply in constant communication, attention to detail, and most importantly not fighting for control. 

Why am I angry?

Today I had a doctor's appointment at 4:50PM, which was for an eye problem.  The ailment is nothing severe, but mostly causes me discomfort and has been a bit frustrating.  When I scheduled the appointment last week I thought it curious that they would schedule so close to the end of the day, but I didn't question it.  On my way to the appointment today I made a wrong turn after leaving from work a little bit late.  After realizing my mistake and correcting it I didn't make it to the appointment until 5:05.  I ran in and was promptly met with the classic response, "the computers are all turned off and we can't take you."  I was so furious.  I asked the lady what the point was of taking appointments at 4:50PM if they can't meet them if someone is late.  Doctors routinely miss appointments with patients, but we accept it as we hold the weak hand.  This is all besides the point.  After I walked out in a huff I called the HyWy and released a fury of words that can't be published on this blog.  I didn't feel better.  I started my drive home.  For 15 minutes I fumed.  I didn't ask the most obvious question until I was halfway home, "why am I angry?"  To be honest I knew as soon as I figured out that I was lost that I wouldn't have been taken.  I could have skipped the appointment and saved myself the frustration.  I went to the appointment, because I still had hope.  I was angry not because they didn't take me, but because they didn't empathize with me.  It would have helped tremendously if they had just said they understood, they would try to see if they could get me checked in, etc.  They could have just gone through the motions, but just the words was what I needed to hear.  In that moment I didn't want to feel like a number or just "that guy".  This is what I think is lacking the medical profession.  The doctors see so many patients that they can't have personal relationships with each and that is understandable.  The staff are so overworked that they don't see the opportunities to make a difference by a small act.  A small act of kindness can go a long way.  

On cooking

The HyWy and I embarked on a culinary adventure last night that took a bit longer than expected, but was worth it.  We made homemade pasta without the benefit of the fancy machine to roll.  Needless to say it was difficult.  While making it the HyWy mentioned how she's become "high class" and only likes homemade pasta now.  I argued that appreciation of homemade things does not necessarily make one high class.  Though homemade pasta requires more time it is probably cheaper and the same can be said for most homemade items such as cookies, biscuits, etc.  The reason people don't do it themselves or from scratch is a lack of confidence in their skills and they place a higher value on spending time doing other things.  There is nothing wrong with placing more value in spending time with your family or on other projects.  However, from a financial perspective I would say one is more high class if they can afford the luxury of premade goods.  I consider it a luxury to be able to eat out and similarly it's a luxury to be able to afford biscuits in a can.  In the rural south where soul food rules and biscuits are ever present I highly doubt they consider it a luxury to have homemade buttermilk biscuits.  Nor did our grandparents consider themselves high class if they made things from scratch, because that was the only option.  Anyways the point of this rant is that getting back to the basics in cooking does not signify anything more than having the time and the skill to do something well.

Lead by example or lead with an iron fist

There is a big crackdown in California for the month of April on texting and cell phone usage while driving.  This post will be short so I can quickly type it before I get on the freeway...I'm kidding.  Anyways I've seen a number of cars pulled over in dead stopped traffic, which leads me to believe they were using their cell phones.  I think this is a worthwhile effort and I'm doing my part to stay off my phone while driving.  What I don't understand is the police using their phones while driving.  I regularly see police and highway patrol officers using their phones while driving and I want to know how citizens are supposed to feel about that.  What kind of message does that send when the enforcers don't obey the rules?  That does not only apply to phones, but safe driving.  I'm not referring to police responding to an emergency, but I regularly see police speeding (without sirens), changing lanes without signals, stopping at a red light and then driving off, and worst of all using their sirens ONLY to drive through lights.  What this tells me is that "since we enforce the rules they don't apply to us."  I wonder if there is even a protocol to report this and whether anyone would even take it seriously.  The point of the rules is safe behavior from all regardless of who they are.