An unexpected result of parenthood

As a non parent I took a lot of things for granted.  These were freedoms that I would no longer have as a parent, but knowing what I was getting into I was mentally prepared for this.  One unexpected freedom I lost was the ability to peacefully wake up.  It's something I have never even thought about except when I have an alarm, but even then on the weekends I could always lay in bed and get up at my leisure.  I didn't realize that this had changed in me until last weekend when I went for a float.  For those that are interested read here for a in depth description of floating. For the purpose of my story though floating is sleeping in a sensory deprivation tank where all of your sense are rendered neutral.  It is the most relaxing sleep you can imagine.  At the end of the sleep they gently start playing bells and chimes to wake you so you can wash up.  As soon as the gentle chimes started playing I sat bolt upright and was immediately climbing out of the tank.  I couldn't have gotten out of there faster if I wanted to.  Later that evening I reflected upon the experience and I realized I'm so used to getting up for The Dude (aka our little guy) that I reacted the same way after my float.  When we get up for The Dude it's because he is crying, hungry, uncomfortable, can't breathe properly, or some other somewhat serious problem so there is no time to groggily wake up.  Instead we go straight from fast asleep to full alert mode in seconds.  Now I miss the ability to peacefully wake up.  

An early cyberspace memory

Out of the blue this morning I had a flashback to the early days of the Internet as we know it today.  I'm not talking about the birth of the Internet when it wasn't in common use, but rather the days of dial up modems, AOL/Compuserve/Netscape/Alta Vista/, and most importantly no Google. One day my dad came home and mentioned how he had heard the story of someone who had committed a heinous crime.  He related how the name sounded strangely familiar, but he couldn't place it.  He kind of left it at that until I suggested we get on the Internet and see if we could find more information.  Back then we made sure no one was on the phone and then initiated the dial up modem to connect to AOL.  Once online we had to navigate out of AOL's internal interface until we could search the Internet.  It seemed so vast and abstract then.  This was probably 1994 or 1995.  I don't remember what we did next, but I would imagine we used Netscape or some browser to go to Lycos, Yahoo, or Alta Vista to search for more information.  Ultimately we found out that the criminal was approximately the same age as my dad and then it all clicked.  This criminal was a former college classmate of my dad's.  In contrast I think of today when at the drop of hat we reach for the iPad or our cellphones to look up some obscure fact to prove a point.  The search wasn't hard back then, but it was more involved and thus more thrilling.  

The smile

One would think that the difficult part of parenthood is the smelly diapers, the odd hours for feeding or changing, sacrificing your time, or even getting sick more frequently as your little one becomes a germ carrier.  Those parts are all trying, no doubt, but they are not anywhere near the most difficult part.  To date the most difficult part is looking into the little guy's eyes when he has the biggest smile you have ever seen.  This may seem strange and counter intuitive, but it's when he smiles that makes it so heartbreaking.  Right before we go in for his shots he just looks at you with one of those light up the world smiles. In my mind I know what's behind that door and how he's going to be in pain for the foreseeable future, which makes his smile so hard.  Another day we were trying to teach the little guy to soothe himself to sleep.  Many people know the technique as crying it out and he had been going at it for quite some time so I decided to just go in and roll him over on his stomach.  In the middle of non stop crying his tears stopped dead in their tracks and he looked at me with the biggest time stopping smiles.  It just breaks my heart.  This is why the hardest part of parenthood is his smile.

On chicken and sneakers

So a Chick Fil A has opened up near where I work and as with anything involving Chick Fil A there has been a protest movement. The other day I walked by the restaurant and on one side of the driveway were people protesting the restaurant's affiliation and donations to anti gay marriage organizations.  On the other side of the driveway were people anti homosexuality protesters.  For those that might not know the Chick Fil A is a strongly Christian company (they are closed on Sundays) and their current owner has donated money to several organizations that are anti gay marriage.  These donations are not through the company directly, but through a non profit that the company has founded.  One interesting thing about the protests was that both the protesters (at least the pro gay marriage ones) and the owner of this particular franchise were very respectful of each other.  The owner said that he respects everyone, he brought out bottled water for everyone, and allowed use of his bathrooms.  For their part the protesters acknowledged that their problem was with the Chick Fil A corporate owner and his politics.  There were many signs advocating the boycott of Chick Fil A until they support gay rights and several comments about not patronizing their business until their stance changes.  This got me thinking about the difference and similarities that exist with this situation and human rights violations in Asia during the production of many consumer products.  In the case of Chick Fil A this restaurant is a franchise so only a portion of the earnings make their way back to the corporation and after that I'm fairly certain that only a portion of those funds make their way to the non profit which funds anti gay marriage.  Even if 50 cents of every dollar went to the corporation I would be surprised if more than 5 cents (10% of the corporation's earnings) went to the nonprofit, which only represents 5% of the dollar that I spent.  Conversely if I buy an Apple product or wear apparel manufactured in Asia I would bet that 20-25% of my money is going directly to pay for manufacturing.  As stories involving FoxConn in China have shown the working conditions are beyond deplorable, the workers are paid well below what could be considered a living wage, and safety is barely a concern in the factories.  My argument is we have to pick and choose our battles.  It is clear that a portion of my money whenever spent is going to support some causes or organizations that I do not agree with and it is important to look at it all in perspective.  

Call me a cynic

Call me a cynic.  Call me ungrateful.  Call me apathetic.  Call me disillusioned.  Call me unpatriotic.  Call me misguided.  Call me ill informed.  However, every 2 years when it is election time (and even more so every 4 years during presidential elections) I cannot wait for this process to be over.  I have little to no interest in discussing politics with anyone.  I have a hard time believing anything will actually change and that anyone will do anything significant.  Maybe that's because I don't feel like I have witnessed the passage or repeal of anything significant in my lifetime.  From my perspective it just seems like good laws are passed by one party only to have another party rise to power the next term and repeal them.  The healthcare mandate seems to be one of those things.  It was a major change (probably the only major one that I recall) and the challenger is now making it his first goal to repeal it.  I don't feel like anything actually happens in Washington.  Everyone pushes their own agenda and we are in pretty much the same place we were 4 years ago.  Instead of one group pushing and the other pulling both are pulling and nothing happens.  I feel hopeless with our political system and I know someone is bound to tell me to "do something to change it."  What good would that do?  The machine is so large and complicated that in order to have even the slightest chance of affecting change I need to be so incredibly passionate or interested, which I clearly am not.  The campaigning process is so bloated and cluttered it's nearly impossible to get any real information from it.  The debates which are supposed to provide some insight were practically unbearable to watch because each candidate would drone on endlessly while trying to poke holes in his opponent's previous statement.  I know we have freedoms and liberties that other people do not and I'm sure to some degree I'm taking them for granted.  I feel that if I had grown up in another country or seen some transition of power in my life I wouldn't be so apathetic.  

In the face of humanity

This weekend we experienced humanity in it's most raw form.  It was simultaneously the most frightening and one of the most inspiring things I have ever seen.  

As we sat first in line at a traffic light waiting to turn left we witnessed a horrific car accident between a minivan and a SUV.  The details don't matter, but we watched a full size SUV roll multiple times like it was a toy car.  It is one of those things that you never forget.  To see the arm of one of the occupants of the SUV waving helplessly from underneath a car on it's side leaves me without words.  The fragility of life put on display as a result of someone's carelessness showed the dark side of human nature.  However, the moment everything stopped moving the beautiful side of human nature was equally apparent.  People from every car jumped out and descended on the two vehicles.  A group of people pulled the two occupants out of the SUV from the top and carried them to a little grassy patch.  Someone shouted from another car that they had gotten emergency assistance on the phone.  Another person took a position in the middle of the intersection to direct traffic.  It was amazing to see humanity slow down to help others amid the rush of daily life.

What does it mean to be a good parent?

As a new parent I seek validation to confirm whether I'm doing a good job as a parent.  I write this on my behalf and thus am not referring to 'we'.  The common question to my predicament is why do I need someone to tell me that I'm doing a good job.  One of the most obvious things to me as a new parent is how much I have been told what I am doing wrong.  This comes from doctors, nurses, relatives, and other experts.  I am not implying that in telling me what we are doing wrong it is a negative thing, because everyone is coming from a good space of just communicating what they know or has worked for them.  However, in all of that along with the constructive criticism it is very reassuring to hear people tell me that I am doing a good job.  Strangely the group of people that have most commonly told me that I'm doing a good job are friends that don't have kids.  That's not to say that no relatives, doctors, etc. have acknowledged what I am doing right.  In the end the validation of experts or anyone else feels good and feels reassuring.  

The effects of war

Americans that came of age in the aftermath of World War II were raised with a negative view of anything German or Japanese.  Reading a book about the experiences of soldiers, civilians, government officials, etc. during World War II I'm amazed at the amount of animosity towards Germans and Japanese.  Part of this was a propaganda effort by the government and part of this was based on the experiences of soldiers in the field.  Countless interviews with Americans has them extensively describing how much they hate the Japanese ("Japs"), but they felt more connected to Germans once they realized how 'similar' they were.  This attitude is what drives many people of that generation to exclusively 'buy American" and not purchase from companies like Toyota or Sony.  

Americans that came of age in the aftermath of the Vietnam War were raised with a negative view of the Vietnamese people.  This viewpoint was intensified with the influx of cheap labor particularly in the South where the climate resembles Southeast Asia.  

As we raise a child against the backdrop of a "war" on terrorism I can't help but wonder whether the little guy's friends will be raised with negative views towards Muslims.  Will this spillover onto our little guy?  Will he be shunned for what he is perceived to be?  I was born about 10-12 years after the peak of the Vietnam War and similarly our little guy was born about 11 years after 9/11.  The children that were too young to go to Vietnam, but watched their older brothers or grew up without fathers because of Vietnam were my classmates.  The classmates of our little guy will be children of parents who served in Afghanistan and Iraq.  

And so the cycle continues.  As each generation passes the same behaviors are further entrenched in our lives.  

The Accessibility of Music

I was listening to a podcast of a radio program interview with a singer/songwriter on the way to work this morning.  They played a track of hers where she covered a Russian folk song and she also described how growing up in the Soviet Union her dad would trade tapes with friends of famous western music groups including The Beatles and Queen.  This got me thinking about the world that the Noodle (aka the little guy aka the Froggy aka the Turtle) will grow up in.  This is shaping up to be a "when I was young" type post.  However, today if someone wants to hear samples of music from any point in history they can probably find the recording on YouTube.  A few minutes on Google, Wikipedia, and YouTube and one can find any musical genre or genre.  Previously we would be lucky to figure out the name of a song we were looking for much less find a sample of it.  The amount of research that was required to just find a name was probably an hour or two in a well stocked library.  The accessibility of different types of music is greater than it has ever been.  The Noodle will be growing up in a world where it is entirely conceivable that people will not only have heard of Bollywood, but will even recognize famous songs.  Music along with many other things is far more accessible than anytime in history.  

Are you a real fan?

I read this article on ESPN about what makes a true fan.  The article was interesting enough, but the comments were very interesting.  The argument is a common one that can be applied to anything.  Support your local farmer/musician/business first and then support larger multinational institutions.  The idea that American fans of a team aren't 'enough', because we don't go to the games regularly, travel with the team, or have grown up loving the team is absurd.  I agree I'm not a diehard fan, but to be honest I don't care whether diehard fans respect my fanhood.  I support the teams I support as best I can and for my own enjoyment.  I wish I could fly to Barcelona or Atlanta for every match, but that's not practical.  It's barely practical for me to catch matches on TV, but I follow them when I can.  The idea of supporting one's own local side was interesting, because it made me realize beyond the MLS there are a lot of smaller local teams in the US.  Apparently in Atlanta I can get front row tickets to a pro match for 25 bucks.  This raises another interesting question about how I would like our little guy to grow up going to sporting events, but they are increasingly becoming cost prohibitive.  I read somewhere that in Canada regional hockey and in the US minor league baseball is picking up followers, because the tickets are cheaper and the atmosphere is more family friendly.  I don't know about any sporting event being family friendly, but I do imagine a smaller attendance makes for a more personal experience and that will help establish the foundation on which a lifetime of fanhood is based.  I hope to raise our little guy going to local soccer matches wherever we are.

On fatherhood - lessons learned

Some lessons that I have learned in my first month of being a father

-No black ops, covert assassin, SEAL team member, or ninja is anywhere near as stealthy as a father who has just put his child to sleep.  After our little guy goes to sleep I could step on a cactus without making a sound.  I would jump on top of a ringing cell phone to shield it the way one shields their crew mates from a grenade.  I didn't realize the fragility of the situation until I was in it.  

-The only way to get through a 3am poop filled diaper is to remember third grade.  Remember when you would make fart jokes and laugh at a dog pooping.  Reconnect with your own childhood to get through theirs.

-Hearing a baby cry isn't nearly as heart breaking as seeing the tears.  During the first few weeks our guy didn't have any tears and I thought to myself it's not too bad.  Once those ducts developed it was all over and I melted like an ice cream cone on a hot afternoon.

On growing up

Last night we met some friends of ours who brought their little guy over and they met our little guy.  Their little guy is about 5 months older than ours and it was an interesting window into where our life will be near the end of the year.  Their little guy is absolutely adorable, inquisitive, and happy as can be (at least when we saw him).  It did make me think though about what a brief fleeting moment we are spending in this phase of our little guy's life.  This is when he is so fragile he just turns into a little ball and nuzzles into your arm.  This is when his skin hasn't gained all of it's color and is so soft it feels like a cotton ball.  This is when moving for him is a stretch after he wakes up and he just gazes curiously at you.  This is when he can't support his own weight and bobs precariously from side to side in your hands.  I want to hold onto these moments so tightly to remember this feeling for the rest of my life, but like sand it just slips out of my fingers.  Each moment is precious in it's own way and when our little guy is 6 months I will want to do the same before he turns one year.  This is the dilemma of parenting and I can't believe how much it has changed me in less than a month.  As hard as it is I wouldn't trade it for anything and it's worth every single sleepless night.  

A glimpse of our future

It's funny how as we got closer to our delivery date several people told us how they hoped our kids did not turn out like X or Y's kids. In a few instances the people even went so far as to explain how much they hated said kids and how undisciplined they are. Yesterday I was at the gym and a family of three kids either very close in age or triplets came in a big three person stroller. While one child was climbing the others waited and one of them was wailing. I don't recall hearing a kid wail like that for a while and it went on for the better part of an hour. As the crying echoed through the gym I watched as people stared at the parents doing nothing.

I pondered our future. I know and I accept that people we know and don't know are not going to agree with our choices to raise our kid. What scares me is the possibility that people will think our kid is a crazy terror allowed to run rampant. How would I handle a bawling kid in the middle of a gym? The answers come slightly more easily when I consider just one kid, but everything changes if a second kid is added to the mix. In every instance of people bemoaning the madness of X and Y there are two kids. I don't know if that is the answer, but I'm sure it is not restricted to two kid households. I hope our kid is raised with the right balance of innocence, compassion, and awareness that they are not talked about in hushed tones.

The Waiting Game

The clock ticks and we try to wait patiently. Our life seems to be at a virtual standstill while everyone is flying past. However, the standstill is only our perception as the last nine months have flown by. This last week has come to a screeching halt and we crawl to the finish line. There feels like an endless list of things to do, but at the same time the most enjoyable moments are spent "wasting" an afternoon on the couch watching a movie and laughing until you cry at meaningless banter. I try to as present as I can, because I want to remember this week for the rest of my life. I want to remember waking up every time the HyWy would roll over to check if it was go time. I want to remember rubbing my face on her belly and marveling at how smooth it is. I want to remember the growing excitement over finally meeting the person who has spent every second of the last nine months with the HyWy. I want to remember the potent concoction of giddy nervous anxiety that I feel when I wonder how we are going to get through this roller coaster. Most of all I want to remember being present.

On grief

Juxtaposed with the birth of our child has been the passing of my coworker, Enock, whom I wrote about in the last post. The grief I have felt has been an interesting contrast to that felt for other pastings in our lives. When relatives or family friends have passed they are often people who know us very well. Relatives and friends are people that have been a part of our lives for years and sometimes decades. At the same time due to distance or life changes we don't see that much of each other, but that doesn't change how wonderful it is when we do meet. Conversely a coworker is someone who knows little of my personal life or past. However, we see each other everyday. We might only share a few meaningful conversations, but their presence is felt in our daily life with incredible consistency. When the relative passes the grief stems from the loss of someone who has been a long standing part of your life and feels like they will always be there when you visit. When the coworker passes the grief stems from the loss of someone who was always there just based on routine. In the end the feelings are very connected though rooted in different places.

Enock

Almost exactly one year ago to the day I started a new job and when I did I met Enock.  Today a year has passed and he has been declared brain dead.  The cause is not important.  Tonight I write with sadness in my heart for the loss of one of the most genuine good hearted people I have ever had the fortune of meeting.  For the first 6-8 months at my new job when I was getting in early and he was sitting on the other side of my cube he would stroll in and casually say hi.  I can't even describe why he was good natured or what it was about him that makes me say this, but I just know.  My only interactions with him were in the work environment, but you learn a lot about someone when you see them everyday at work.  Through some extraordinary good fortune he won some sort of lottery allowing him a fast tracked process to a work visa in the US.  He came here legally with a degree, worked his ass off in retail, and eventually got a corporate job.  By the time I had met him he had been in the US for 4-5 years and already had a Green Card.  About a month ago he got his US citizenship and I vividly remember him excitedly telling us about the chance to vote in this presidential election.  He was soft spoken and with a subtle sense of humor.  When you least expected it he would crack a joke.  One day I saw him at lunch feverishly eating a Burger King sandwich.  I questioned why he was eating that when he normally ate at home.  He told me that his first meal when he came to the US was from Burger King and occasionally he likes to remember that.  He and I would regularly talk about soccer matches especially when big ones were on.  We followed the Euro 2012 draw together in December 2011.  We went to see Barcelona lose to Chelsea in the Champions League Semifinals in 2012 at a local sports bar.  Just this week I talked to him excitedly about the Euro 2012 match between Germany and Netherlands.  I had hoped to watch it with him, but he mentioned he would be out of town.  The other day during the match I thought of him and considered sending him some score updates.  And then in the blink of an eye when I came back from lunch I heard the news.  There are some people that you meet in life who are there briefly, but make an impact.  They will never know their impact and even if we forget about them in the long run they will always remain with us.  Tonight I mourn the loss of one of those people.    

Living with intention

As I mentioned in the previous post today I read a speech given by a good friend.  The whole speech resonated deeply with me, but the story at the end of the speech was what really struck me.  The idea of micro-service as a way to transform the self was very intriguing.  

Every action has the potential to be an act of service no matter how small.  The key is to perform the action with intention, but in order to truly perform an act with intention one has to be in the moment not focusing on the past or future.  To achieve this I recognize small modifications that need to be made to my day.  I do not need to be as connected as I am.  My time in the morning or evening when I commute can be spent in quiet contemplation instead of cluttered by constantly surfing radio stations.  Practically speaking I can't slow down my commute nor can I walk to work at this point, but I can slow down my mind and be present in those moments.  The big opportunity of micro-service will be when our new family member arrives.  There are going to be plenty of chances to lose ourselves to frustration and take it out upon each other.  However, each chance for frustration is also a chance for service to either the HyWy or our son/daughter.  In a sense it sounds ridiculous, but each diaper changed or feeding is in itself a profound act of service.  For the first 3-5 years a child is not at all self sufficient and as parents we have to selflessly give so the entirety of the first several years can be viewed as an aggregate of micro-service acts.  It won't be easy to maintain this level of awareness, but it is a start to consider it and apply it to today.  My whole day today I have been considering the title of this blog and trying to stay present.  Stay tuned for what happens in a month or two.

I just read that a good friend is giving one of two commencement addresses at UPenn.  After that I read that Karma Kitchen, a project that both the HyWy and I were deeply involved in at one point, has opened an outpost in Japan.  I had a moment to reflect on these two items and where the last ten years after my graduation has brought me.  Along the way I have met some amazing people.  It's interesting in meeting people how you never realize in that first moment where your relationship can go, but in hindsight it seemed so simple.  In ten years some of the people have entered and left my life and some are only just entering, but regardless they have left lasting marks upon me.  I have had the benefit of being a part of truly inspirational projects whose scope and impact I may never fully realize as I'm still trying to understand how they transformed me.  At 33 I feel  like I have lived a life that I'm proud of and this gives me hope for what can be achieved in the remaining 50 or so years ahead of me.  

What is in a name?

As the HyWy and I try to pick a name for our new arrival I have been thinking about things that I didn't expect I would at this point.  I didn't think I would ceaselessly consider the pronunciation of an Indian name by Americans and how Anglicized it could be.  Then I reflected on my own name and all the iterations I have accepted over the years.  Originally when I conceived this post I was going to phonetically write out each iteration, but then I realized that would reveal my name (duh!).  I'm sure there are no secrets about my name, but I'm not going that far.  What I do know is that I subconsciously Anglicize my own name.  I don't completely break it away from it's Indian roots as someone who might crown themselves Harry might.  However, those that do that I know do it for a very very good reason.  After all no one wants to work in corporate America with a name like Hardik or something similar.  Back to my story though, I am making a conscious effort to pronounce my name the way it is intended.  For me that means separating the syllables at a different point than I do and it also means and changing one of the sounds.  One unintended affect of this exercise is that I'm extremely present when I introduce myself on the phone.  At my job I make countless phone calls and I'm often rushing, but now I have to slow down just enough to remember what is in my name.

Live with no regrets

As the HyWy and I near this next phase in our lives I can't help but think about, "how things will never be the same."  Sometimes we think about these things ourselves while musing on days gone by and other times we have that fact reiterated to us by those who have walked this road before us.  However, the more I think about it the more I realize that I'm ready to leave behind those move forward.  However, as we move forward I look back fondly on things we won't necessarily be able to do with the same ease and reckless abandon:

• Getting off work after a long day and going bar hopping for happy hour.
• Going clubbing and dancing followed by late night food and coming home at 5 or 6am.
• Coming home exhausted and laying on the couch watching movies.
• Skipping out on lesser things like laundry and grocery shopping to spend the day with friends.

I'm sure there are more things, but nothing is coming to mind immediately.  On the flip side there is a list of stuff that I'm excitedly looking forward to:

• Getting off work after a long day and just sitting with KB (whether he/she is eating, sleeping, crying).
• Sleeping next to KB.
• Taking photos in the Heisman pose with KB.
• Going to a park on a nice day with the HyWy and KB.
• Waking up exhausted and grumpy, but seeing KB's face first thing.

So as one door closes another opens.

When to introduce...

As our little legume grows within the HyWy I have been thinking more about parenting.  One of the big questions on the minds of parents these days is when do you "introduce" the kid to television.  While I think about that I'm not particularly concerned with the answer.  The question that sticks in my head is when to introduce the kid to Google/Wikipedia.  As with the former question the obvious scenario that looms is that the kid would discover the forbidden fruit when at a friend's house, but there is no point in worrying about that.  Growing up both the HyWy and I would ask our parents questions about how things work, how things were made, what is this, what is that, etc.  I remember in the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes how the Calvin's dad would make up an elaborate explanation when he didn't have an answer and I always thought that was funny.  I want to have these opportunities to learn things and experience discovering them with KB, but the window of opportunity has shrunk considerably since our childhood.  Now any question we don't have an answer is literally a few clicks away.  Do I want KB to have such instant gratification?  Do I want to miss the opportunity to make up answers?  Most definitely not.  I'm not saying that I want to teach KB the wrong things, but I want to be an active part of KB's learning.

Musical cartography

What is the first thing you do when you hear a new song or group?  Today you might hit Shazam on your smartphone, then link to YouTube to watch some videos by the group/singer, and maybe then look up Wikipedia to read about the group/singer.  My whole life I have enjoyed what I would call musical cartography or musical mapping.  When I was discovering rock and heavy metal my cartography led me from U2 or Metallica back eventually to the Delta Blues.  Today my musical cartography focuses more on sampling and one of the most intriguing examples in recent memory is the Rihanna and Drake song "I'll Take Care of You".  When I first heard this I fell in love with the background music.  I love the melody and I set about figuring out what this song was about.  This led me to a remix version with vocals by Gil Scott Heron.  The remix was done by someone named Jamie xx and I would assume he was the one that placed the melodies that loved.  However, the Gil Scott Heron version made me realize I also really liked the lyrics and I was curious what the "original" version sounded like if Jamie xx added in the beautiful melodies.  That led me to the original Gil Scott Heron version.  From here I learned that this was no more Gil Scott Heron's song than it was Jamie xx, Drake, or Rihanna's.  The true original version was written by Brook Benton and recorded by Bobby "Blue" Bland.  Bobby Blue is a very famous blues and R&B artist whose most recognizable work is "Ain't No Love in the Heart of the City", which went on to be sampled by Jay-Z.  There are two lessons I took from this exercise: first it always comes back to the blues or R&B and second that Gil Scott Heron is very amazing.  He reminds me of Bob Dylan in that he was an incredibly gifted writer with an incredibly unique voice.  When I compare all the versions of "I'll Take Care of You" I can't help but feel that as much as I least like the approach for the Drake/Rihanna version I think it might be the best.  From here the debate rages on about what it means to be a fan who learns about Gil Scott Heron in this manner vs. an original fan.  My thinking is if one arrives at the same destination their journey there, in these situations, doesn't matter as much.  

Movies, rides, and video games

After seeing The Lorax recently I left the theatre wondering whether I had just walked out of a video game or ride promo.  Where in the past movies were made and then their story, characters, setting, etc. were adapted to create video games and rides today another approach is taken.  A movie is created with the vision of a video game and ride tie-in.  The movie then obviously has content, which would fit well with a ride or a video game.  This makes me question what is the purpose of creating a film?  I would think that it would be a form of artistic expression or something to that effect.  Now it seems as though the purpose would be cross platform development.  The problem this creates is artistic expression is sacrificed in favor of what would be cool on a ride or what would work well in a video game.  Imagine a producer arguing against a scene, but that gets overruled as it would only spend an extra 100K to create and would add to a ride.  It doesn't matter though.  The movie is losing it's foothold as the primary revenue stream.  A theme park with souvenirs, admission, food, etc. is the largest revenue stream.  Almost all of that revenue stays "at home" or with the parent company (most likely the ones who made the movie).  The video game with it's longer term entertainment factor, 'educational' aspect, and medium price point is the secondary revenue stream.  Movies in the theatre are the smallest revenue stream as they lose market share to downloading, Netflix, and shrinking audience sizes on rising ticket prices.  I guess this is a shift in the entertainment market.  

The Lorax

Last weekend the HyWy and I saw The Lorax, which is based upon a Dr. Seuss book.  The story has an underlying theme of environmentalism and the general message is, "plant a tree."  Oddly enough a story that along with environmentalism speaks out against consumerism has more than 70 different product tie ins.  These are not product placement deals in the movie, which you often see in James Bond or Mission: Impossible for cars.  These are commercials and branded campaigns, which use the Lorax and various other characters in their promotional material.  The most egregious of which is Mazda's commercial promoting it's new "SkyActive" technology.  Another product tie in is with the "green" brand Seventh Generation for their diapers.  I feel like this branding approach completely misses the mark of the original story and if anything is an affront to the true meaning.  

Cabo after Lightroom

I've started playing around with Adobe Lightroom and my first chance to really see what I could do came after our trip to Cabo. Check out the results.

Sunset on our first day

A road to nowhere near a locals beach we found.

A bee in a sunflower at a really fun farm restaurant that we stumbled upon.

Time to grow up

Nothing forces us to grow up faster than having a kid.  Until one has a kid they have the option (whether they take it or not is a different story) to live on their terms and shirk responsibilities.  In those times the choices you make and how you handle yourself in situations only really affects you.  For example, if you are driving and someone cuts you off causing you to experience road rage, assuming no one gets hurt, the only effect is the emotional toll on yourself.  This all changes along with your perspective when a kid is brought into the picture.  What if the kid sees you acting like a rage fueled maniac?  With KB on the way I have completely reevaluated my decision making process.  One of the first things I think about is, "would I do this if I had a kid with me?"  I have started to question my intentions and the space from which I come.  I want to be able to choose my battles carefully and if possible not have battles.  I have a very vivid memory of my dad and I driving in a mall parking lot near where I work when someone cut us off.  They might have run the stop sign or something.  I remember my dad pulling up alongside the pickup truck and cursing the driver out.  The driver responded with an equal measure of curses.  What I remember most is the driver challenging my dad to get out of the car.  This terrified me.  Naturally nothing came of it and we drove off.  I'm not saying whether any part of this was right or wrong, but it's the type of situation that makes me wonder how I would react.  Another example on the other end of the spectrum was the HyWy and her little brother were in Atlanta years ago walking down the street.  There was a homeless man and he was behaving erratically.  The HyWy recognized this, but instead of reacting with fear to promote the idea that something was wrong she offered the simple explanation to her brother that he must be having a hard day.  As I recall they even gave him some food.  These are the opportunities that will soon present themselves in our lives and now is the time for us to grow up as we our decisions will help shape someone else.  

On sampling

Recently I watched a documentary on a very influential hip hop group, A Tribe Called Quest.  The documentary looked back on the history of the group and at the same time on what is often thought of as the golden age of hip hop.  Watching the film I realized how hip hop has devolved.  At it's peak it was an art form that was rooted in sampling, but today it's based in beatmakers and drum machines.  That's not to say that sampling doesn't happen anymore.  However, sampling today is entire recognizable parts of older songs instead of being the snare and high hat from one song with the bass line from another song.  The result is songs that are very familiar to the older generation, but with new lyrics or garbage added on top.  The king of this approach is an individual (note I didn't say artist) named Flo Rida.  He has sampled significant parts of songs such as the 80s anthem "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)" or "Something's Got A Hold On Me" by Etta James.  Sampling methods aside I think the other reason hip hop has devolved is the rise in popularity of sampling and production software.  Now anyone with a computer can create their own beats in a matter of minutes.  Arguably that is more creative than the sampling approach, but the result is that everything sounds so similar.  Today one prolific beatmaker can create countless of beats for dozens of artists and sell them thousands of dollars.  The role of a DJ has been eclipsed by a beatmaker.  I'm not sure where this will go in the future, but in the meantime I long for the artists of the 80s and 90s.  

A musical icon you have never heard of...

Chances are you have never heard of Alan Lomax, but he has almost certainly affected the music you listen to.  The root of American music whether it is hip hop, rap, rock and roll, or even trance can in my mind be traced back through the influences to blues, R&B, soul, and jazz.  Alan Lomax and his father John Lomax though not musicians helped shape the musical fabric of American history.  They were folklorists that traveled the country and eventually the world in search of folk music and artists.  They then recorded these musicians, because they felt that folk music represented culture and all cultures deserved to be recognized.  One of the most famous examples is the Lomaxs' "discovery" of a then relatively unknown imprisoned bluesman who was residing in the notorious Angola Prison in Louisiana.  They traveled to Angola and recorded Lead Belly who went on to become one of the great bluesmen.  He influenced everyone from Led Zepplin to Bob Dylan to the White Stripes.  The thing that stands out to me the most about Alan Lomax is that he was able to learn about and track down musicians who often lived in the middle of nowhere without devices that we take for granted.  This was a time when the phone was not nearly as ubiquitous as it is today.  On top of that Alan traveled with the latest in recording gear and evolved his equipment as the technology evolved.  I can't imagine dragging hundreds of pounds in equipment on a train to record someone that may or may not be where I think they will be.  In the end the gift Alan and John have left us in the digital age is thousands of hours of recordings.  Interviews, performances, outtakes, etc. which have recently been made available to anyone for free online.  I've only barely scratched the surface of archive, but if you are interested take a look for yourself.

Nut Brown in honor of Baby Brown

What do you want?

By now most of the people that read my blog know that the HyWy and I are expecting.  In announcing this news to our friends and family one of the understandable questions to arise is, "what sex baby do you want?"  We have decided to wait until the delivery room to find out.  Regardless though my answer has been, "I don't care."  The part that I have a difficult time with is the reaction I get after that.  Several people have expressed disbelief that I have no preference.  Some say, "well OF COURSE you'll love the kid either way, but you have to have a preference!"  The reality is I don't and I don't have to have a preference.  The common perception for guys is that they want a son with whom they can share sports with and women want a girl with whom they can dress up or go shopping with.  What life has shown me is that these biases are not guaranteed.  I know several guys that are not into sports and I know many women (the HyWy being the most obvious) who are not into shopping.  I don't want a boy or a girl.  I want a KID who is interested in something.  I want a KID who is passionate about something.  I want a KID who can share an interest with the HyWy and I (doesn't have to be the same interest).  I want a KID with whom I can share my passion about sports.  I want a KID with whom we can cook.  Most of all I want KID who is happy.

While I'm on my soapbox I also have to say that to the best of my ability I would like to challenge the gender identities that exist.  If we have a girl I don't want everything pink.  I don't like pink and until the kid decides that he or she likes pink I don't see why we need it to be over represented in their wardrobe.  I'm sure their will be push back from others on this, but as long as the kid is happy and we are happy it doesn't matter to me a whole lot what anyone else has to say.  

It's just business...nothing personal

It's the single most important lesson that I don't think is taught in school.  We see it all around us everyday.  We see it in the unemployment numbers, we see it in the faces of those who get laid off, we see it when the superstar athletes get traded or take the multimillion dollar contract, and one day we see it in our own lives.  Anyone who pays any attention to the NFL/Super Bowl this week knows that one of the biggest stories involves neither the Giants nor the Patriots, but rather Peyton Manning.  Arguably one of the greatest quarterbacks in history his career threatening injury a few seasons back caused him to miss the entire season in 2011.  Now he is on the verge of being pushed into retirement or being traded away as his team most likely will draft with their number 1 pick a quarterback that could be the next great.  No one is protesting the Colts lack of loyalty the way the nation lashed out at LeBron James a few years back when he left the Cavaliers.  However, LeBron's departure was mired by the idiotic decision to devote a one hour special to his decision on where to go.  Anyways the point is that as with sports teams the companies we work for are just that: companies.  They have no feelings and they know no loyalties.  That's not to say that the individuals that run the companies can't be emotional or have loyalties.  In the last year I have had several friends discuss how they feel bad leaving a company.  The fact is that the company would feel no emotion whatsoever if they had to layoff or fire employees and the reverse should also hold true.  As the axiom says, "it's just business not personal."

The most important invention of the 20th century

What is the most important invention of the 20th century? There are a handful of very obvious candidates: the computer, the cell phone, and the television. These were all clearly revolutionary devices that have changed the way we live our lives. Most notably they have all shrunk the world and been major factors in the way we receive information. Another obvious candidate is the Internet, which is difficult comprehend the scope of it's impact at such an early stage. However, I think a strong argument can be made for an invention that has changed our lives more than any of these items. In fact one might say that were it not for this invention the technological landscape as we know it would be vastly different. The item I am thinking is likely something you see on a daily basis, but do not interact with. You are directly affected by it's existence, but probably have never touched one. It's beauty does not lie in it's complexity, but rather it's simplicity. I am referring to the intermodal container. What is that, you ask? These are the standard sized, corrugated metal containers that travel by train, truck, and ship all over the world. In 1955 a former trucking company owner designed the first container and this design continues to be used today in ports around the world. Previously containers were made of wood and were difficult to stack. Malcolm McLean's container was certainly stronger than the wooden ones and solved the problem of how to lift containers securely by incorporating a simple locking mechanism on each of the containers eight corners. With the advent of containerization that was sturdy and reliable there would be a surge in imports and exports. "Made in China" might never have existed without the intermodal container or it at least wouldn't have existed at the price point that it does now.