Letting it get to you

Twice in the last week or so I have let situations get the better of me.  The first time was when the HyWy and I were looking for a parking spot on a beautiful weekend day when everyone must have been heading into the city.  We were trying to park at BART and in the parking lot was a woman on her cell phone talking with her friend.  I should also mention that she was standing in the only available parking spot in the lot.  As I drove up I could see a confrontation coming.  She apologized and said that her friend is 'on her way'.  I argued for a bit knowing full well that the car has no leverage in a situation like this.  I cursed at her and drove off.  As I was driving away I pondered my other courses of action.  Someone suggested that I should have let the HyWy out of the car to argue with her.  Another suggestion was that I should have stayed where I was thus blocking her friend from entering the spot.  I wondered what a more grounded or centered individual would have done in my situation.  What annoyed me more than the absurdity of the situation was that I let it get to me.  Later that day just thinking about it would get me riled up. 

The second situation saw me buy a ticket to Peru for work travel.  After making the reservation on Thurs. and not seeing the ticket issued after more than a day I was concerned.  I received a phone call on Fri evening informing me that the airline was having trouble getting in touch with my bank to verify my address and to call the airline back during business hours.  On Monday morning I called my bank to find out the problems.  The bank informed me that there were no problems.  My address was correct, I was well under my limit, etc.  I called the airline and gave them the phone number they desired as well as informed them that everything is in order.  They checked and said the address was verified, but that my card was being denied.  This is where my ability to stay grounded started to be pushed.  I asked why and was only told that they didn't know and that I needed to talk to my bank.  I hung up the phone and called the credit card.  The credit card said that no one had contacted them about anything and that I had no denied charges.  Without going into the back and forth I will say that this exchange went on several more times.  Each time the credit card blamed the airline and the airline blamed the credit card.  No one would tell me why my card was being 'denied' nor would the denial show up on the credit card.  At the time I clearly remember being aware of how my limits were being strained and I was on the edge of unleashing on someone.  Finally I asked myself why I was doing this.  At any point in this experience I could have given in and charged the ticket to a different card, such as my company's credit card.  I realized I was holding out and fighting the battle because I knew I was right.  What difference did it make that I was right?  I was so furious through this experience that you could tell it on my face right away.  I didn't want to give in to the airline's ridiculousness.  Finally I did the only thing I could see that would make sense.  I cancelled the ticket on one airline and I bought it on another.  The most amazing part is that while I was still on the phone with the new airline the charge (on the new airline) showed up on my card (after spending 7 hrs on the phone with various people trying to get the old charge to show up).  After all that I was informed on Thurs. that my trip would be postponed indefinitely. 

The moral: as easy and obvious it is to say let go of things, don't sweat the little things, don't let it get to you, etc.  It's never that easy when you are in the situation. 

A Thousand Splendid Suns

I finished reading the second Khaled Hosseini book. 

Normally I don't feel particularly emotional when I read books, but this book was different.  At one point I told the HyWy that I was getting so upset by it that I didn't know whether I would be able to finish it.  The story portrays the life of two women in Afghanistan during the revolution, Taliban occupation, and post Taliban.  Going into it I knew that it would likely have an extremely in your face picture of the life of women in during these times.  What I didn't expect was how it would affect me.  At a certain point I knew the author was painting a wonderful picture of life in Kabul, the countryside, or anything else that I should appreciate but all I wanted to do was continue moving forward in the story.  I found myself eventually glazing over descriptions in order to find out what happened next. 

One interesting result of this was an awareness of my perception of violence.  For whatever reason I enjoy movies and TV shows like CSI, The Bone Collector, etc.  I have almost grown complacent to the violence in these shows.  Domestic violence is an entirely different story.  The descriptions of the situations, beatings, etc. were so vivid that I couldn't read through them. 

Without pretending I understand what is like to be a woman reading a story like this much less a woman in a situation like these I will say that I felt like I was riding this rollercoaster with the characters.  When things started to look up and there seemed to be a positive change approaching I got excited, but then when the opposite happened I felt crushed like it had happened to me.  I don't recall ever feeling emotionally connected to the characters. 

The scariest part in reading this story was knowing that the fanaticism continues to exist today.  The fanaticism that I speak of is not exclusive to Islamic culture.  I know there are fundamentalists in every religion and the means might be different, but the spirit behind it is always the same. 

Who watches the Watchmen?

I just finished the Watchmen by Alan Moore, which I bought as a present to myself during the cleanse.  It's a hard task to write a review of a book (or in this case graphic novel) that has received the praise of so many before me.  What can I say that has not been said?  How do I say something from a place of honesty without looking like I'm just joining the masses?  I don't know. 

One of the things that I most liked about this story was how well it was layered.  The main story has a secondary character who is mostly seen sitting at a newspaper stand reading another comic book.  Throughout the main story we see this character, but he has almost no character development.  The only purpose this character serves is to read the comic book, which we occasionally see panels from.  The brilliance of the writers is shown through the 'comic within a comic', because as action takes place in the main story panels in the 'comic within a comic' echo words that relate.  It is so difficult to explain, but as I came to realize it it very quickly became one of my favorite parts of the story. 

I also enjoyed the characters themselves.  It was wonderful to see flawed 'superheroes'.  I have seen the dark side of Superman in Superman III and I have also seen the dark side of Spiderman or even Batman, but this is different.  In those movies we see a very stark contrast between the good side and the bad side of the superhero.  However, here the writer paints a more human portrait where they have more human emotions and feelings so that their dark side isn't as dark.  It makes the characters more easy to relate to. 

There is a lot to be said for what seems to be a dated story, which so easily fits into the reality of today (20 years after it's original release).  At the time the world was at the end of the Cold War and the characters in the story echo feelings of fear, anxiety, and wonder at what the next day might bring.  Though the atmosphere has changed and there might be new 'enemies' I think that the feelings of the general population haven't changed significantly. 

Simple Pleasures

A beautiful day in Oakland today and now that we are both eating (and in town) I was able to indulge one of my favorite Sunday morning activities: the Jack London Farmer's Market.  While a nice day helps nothing makes me more happy than spending a lazy Sunday morning with the HyWy wandering through the Farmer's Market trying to come up with meals for the next week.  I enjoy it because we aren't rushing to finish so we can do something.  I enjoy it because it's not overcrowded or noisy.  I enjoy it because we get to taste the fresh veggies and fruits.  I enjoy it because it is on the waterfront.  It is one of those simple pleasures that make me happy.