Lessons from the Point #3

While tutoring one of the kids in the Homework Room at the Point the other day I was asked a question I don't think anyone that young has ever asked me.  "Would you ever hit a woman?" the high school sophomore asked.  When I responded that I would never think to do that another student even younger (about 10) turned in disbelief.  She asked again and when the answer didn't change she asked me to swear to God, which I did.  What amazed me was not that the kids were asking me this question, but rather the disbelief and shock that someone would answer the way I did.  Clearly what seemed like the "normal" answer in my mind was not that "normal" in their minds.  I know I shouldn't be that shocked, because when I consider that this kids come from abusive families and addict parents their lives are a far cry from my own upbringing.  When the conversation turned to the recent abuse of the singer Rihanna by her then boyfriend Chris Brown the sophomore justified Brown's actions by saying that the rumor was that she had given him an STD.  I would have expected this kind of thought process from a high school boy, but this was a girl and she was very serious.  She said, "I would have beat her ass so bad if she gave me an STD."  I found this particularly troubling that girls in this community could justify domestic abuse on the grounds of punishment for sexual indiscretion.  I didn't get to make a statement that I strongly believe in that it takes an incredible coward to do what Brown did to Rihanna and I have no respect for someone that behaves that way. 

Interestingly the next day at the point I witnessed the development of abusive behavior as one of the young boys was making fun of a high school age girl.  She went to chase him and he ran under a table.  She reached under the table and pulled him out by his hair.  She then proceeded to drag him along the floor by his hair until she finally let go after being reprimanded by the lady who runs the HW Room.  In situations like that I know I should step in and say something, but I'm not quite at a point where I can discipline these kids as many of them don't even know who I am.  In any case I'm grateful there was someone who has more experience at the Point than me in that situation.  However, what I realized was that the teenage girl was very likely mimicking was she had seen or even possibly experienced in her own house.  The boy didn't seem troubled by it at all, which made me wonder whether he was used to this being the youngest in this group and also potentially from an abusive home.